Complaints Unraveled

By An Aspirant

Complaint is an expression of dissatisfaction with a situation and an unwillingness to accept it, exacerbated by the inability to endure the resulting discomfort or to put in the effort required to adjust it to meet our preferences! Digging further into that feeling makes it evident that the situation is not absolutely unchangeable, but we'd rather not take on that responsibility because we don't trust the strength/longevity of the driving preferences! Thus, complaints reflect an evasion of personal responsibility and a tendency to blame external factors. Simply put, complaining is a demonstration of one's cowardice!

This deep-rooted trait requires introspection, effort and immense Grace to overcome. Awareness that this malady is "in" us and not a problem outside transforms us into an active and willing patient in the treatment process. Some efforts that I find helpful are:

1. Acceptance:
Initially, "don't complain" amounts to bottling up the emotions, which leaves little room for the intellect to operate effectively. Instead, we have to first accept that we are dissatisfied without justifying it.

2. Cultivating Gratitude:
Gratitude is an essential trait that can and should be cultivated. Although one might perceive themselves as inherently grateful, the tendency to complain reveals that true gratitude has not been fully embraced. Genuine gratitude goes beyond the lip service "thank you"; it means that we don't feel any sense of entitlement, no expectations from anybody for any reason. Sincere practice helps shift the outlook from "I am SOMEONE" to "I am just someone." This is not about diminishing our self-esteem or a morbid sense of self-deprecating weak pulp of an individual; in fact, it's anything but that. It's about accepting ourselves and the world as they are, without the obsessive need to exaggerate our self-importance! Even challenges become more bearable, seen as either "what I sowed, here I reap" or "thank God, it could have been worse." 

Between acceptance and gratitude, the weight of our preferences starts to pale and thereby the strength of the complaint as well.

3. Redirecting Complaints Towards God:
Thakur teaches that we should turn our emotions towards God. Ideally, if one's yearning were solely for divine connection, this would be a cakewalk; however, what do we do about complaints stemming from worldly attachments? In such cases, we can start by engaging in open dialogue with our personal God — expressing the torment we suffer, seeking fulfillment, and imploring relief from dissatisfaction. Thakur says that God is our parent, responsible for our well-being, so isn't it only right to place the responsibility where it truly belongs? This practice also enriches our spiritual practice by enabling an active Presence of God in our lives, which will potentially shift the direction of the yearning one day.

If we "do our best," "God will do the rest" aka GRACE to actually remove this weed from our system!

[Content by HI (human introspection) while AI (artificial intelligence) helped edit]