The Holiest of Unions

By Dawn Raffel

For the upcoming symposium on Sri Ramakrishna’s birthday, in which I am a designated speaker, I have been studying his divine relationship with Holy Mother. I decided to first distill my thoughts into a blog post. Therefore, I will do my best to etch some words about this vast subject onto the head of a pin, with apologies for my shortfalls.

Among avatars, Ramakrishna’s marriage is unique. Rather than decline to marry or renounce an existing marriage, he created a profound spiritual union with Sarada Devi, whom he identified as his bride when she was five years old.

Among the many momentous incidents in their marriage, one might argue that the most significant occurred on June 5, 1872, the night of the Kali Puja at Dakshineswar. Sarada, then 18, had joined her husband after years of separation, and they had established a non-carnal marriage. On that night, he worshipped her in a special puja as Shodashi, the third of ten forms of Kali. He went into samadhi and she lost consciousness. The impact of this worship would ripple through continents and centuries, helping to define the Vedanta movement as it spread across the globe.

Firstly, Ramakrishna awakened Shakti in Sarada Devi. He transmitted his spiritual power without her having to perform the austerities he had undergone. In worshipping her as Holy Mother, he elided the boundaries between them on a spiritual plane and established her as his equal.

Secondly (though no hierarchy should be given to the numbering), he demonstrated the primacy of the divine feminine, elevating not only his wife but every woman. For example, he would later caution his nephew Hriday against rudeness to Holy Mother and would instruct Harinath (the future Swami Turiyananda) to respect all women as manifestations of the Divine Mother.

Thirdly, while Ramakrishna was often in samadhi or otherwise oblivious of his surroundings, Holy Mother tirelessly served the practical needs of her husband, family, and the disciples; their union helps us understand that spiritual life and service are inseparable.

After Ramakrishna passed from his body, Sarada Devi, fully imbued with his power, continued his work; she was the Mother of the entire movement. She encouraged Swami Vivekananda to travel to the U.S. and her example of service became integral to the Ramakrishna Mission in India. Monastic centers were established for women as well as men. If this is starting to sound like it is more about Holy Mother than Sri Ramakrishna, it is only because they are the same.

Undertaking this study has subtly changed the way I view the shrine room. Where before I saw only the individual figures, I've begun to consider how sacred are the spaces in between. Ramakrishna offered a living example of seeing God in another person, showing us the boundless potential of relationships. The spaces between the avatars are suffused with divine possibility, and by extension, so may it be for us, if we can realize it. Here, I believe Ramakrishna has offered us a sacred challenge and a holy goal.