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Friday, August 23, 2013

Thinking of One's Own Death to Gain Perspective

by Donna Maurer

If I were to say out loud that I try to think of death every day, many people might react by worrying about my state of mental health and wellbeing. More and more, people are saying that they "want to live each day as if it were their last." But that is not exactly the same thing as thinking of death, even though living life in such a way may result from such thoughts. 

I remember an incident that happened a few years ago: A friend and I were walking in the Vedanta Society of Providence parking lot when a car pulled in abruptly with us in its path, leading us both to instinctively jump out of the way. We also had the same verbal reaction: "Not Yet!"

Many times it is the "wake-up calls" that propel us into action: Someone close to us passes away, we have a brush with death or a serious disease, or we watch
scenes of an unexpected tragedy on the news. Oftentimes, people have very strong emotional reactions to such incidents, at least in part I think, because they fear for their own mortality.

Swami Vivekananda, I feel, would admonish us all to abandon fear, to gather up and direct the emotions, and to focus on the goal of one's life. Depending on one's perspective, the "goal of life" may be what occurs prior to death, during death, or after death. Thus for some, the goal may be a "fulfilling life," for others it may be God-Realization, while for others it may be reaching heaven, as they perceive it.

Just acknowledging the inevitability of one's own death puts all actions into their appropriate context in relation to achieving the goal; in other words, it leads to a number of questions for personal reflection: What is important? What's not important? On what should my attention be focused? What is the best use of time? Is there something I am avoiding? Is there something I truly want to do in this life that I might seriously regret if I don't do it? Am I stuck or lazy and need to make some extra efforts to move forward?

Thinking about death doesn't mean dwelling on death, nor does it mean having a morbid disposition in life. While it's great to live in the present moment, having a perspective on what's important in the present moment is what can help us make this human life meaningful and move forward toward the goal.

3 comments:

  1. Yes, remembering death always is useful – it removes a lot of pettiness, jealousy, hatred etc. in us as we keep a bigger picture in front of us. Recalling the death of our body, therefore, leads to “death of worldliness” in us. I always try to think that when I say “goodbye” to someone it could be a REAL “goodbye” as we never know if either of us will be alive the next moment. That way I try to see the impermanence of human relationships (or anything for that matter) but at the same time the love and respect for them is much more as you value everything that much more, again due to this very impermanence nature. Therefore, contrary to what many people think, remembering death actually will make our life and of all those around us much better and more meaningul. Also we will be better prepared mentally to deal with the death of a fellow being (near/dear) by seeing it in proper perspective of what scriptures say of death as we had been contemplating on those lines all along.

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  2. Seeing death in its true perspective as mentioned in Gita ("it is after all just a change just as birth, childhood, youth, old-age is") is so helpful. People usually hide facts of death from children saying it will affect their minds. On the contrary they will actually become stronger in life and face it boldly if they are explained the levity of death at an early age. I remember the movie on Sri Sankaracharya in which his father explains to young Sri Sankara: "My son, Death is your friend. When it approaches you, don't be afraid". And in that movie, death does approach him as a young kid and friend. Nachiketa's thought in Kathopanishad: "Like corn, man decays and like corn, he is born again" and Lord Jesus' saying: "For you are dust, and to dust you shall return" are apt here.

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  3. Thanks for pointing out how looking at death in this way keeps one be rooted in the reality and seek the truth beyond it. Of course, thinking of death as an escape from troubles faced in living is not the right way - it is suicidal tendancy.

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